IQ or EQ - Which One Is More Important for Your Baby?
Updated: Jul 2, 2018
Feature Fact Friday!
We have all heard of IQ (intelligence quotient), but what about EQ (emotional quotient)? Emotional Intelligence was first coined in 1990 by Peter Salovey and John Mayor in their article, “Emotional Intelligence”. They refer to emotional intelligence as being “the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” In the article from Psych Central, “What is Emotional Intelligence?”, the author states that “IQ alone is not enough; EQ also matters, in fact, psychologists generally agree that among the ingredients for success, IQ counts for roughly 10% (at best 25%), the rest depends on everything else – including EQ."
In only nurturing our children’s IQs, we are doing them a disservice, as several studies have shown that emotional balance is highly correlated with high achievement in school and greater success in life. Balanced emotion also equates to increased attention.
This is not to say that academics is unimportant, but parents should not get hung up on the fact that their child does not fit society's definition of "gifted." A child of average intelligence can be just as (or even more) successful in life as a child with a high IQ. As parents and caregivers, we need to be more aware of our children's EQ (Emotional Quotient) and how to cultivate it.
So, in addition to the reading list and math worksheets, add some EQ activities to your child's summer schedule. Here are some ideas on how to increase EQ:
The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence has developed the RULER Program:
R - Recognizing emotions in self and others ("Christopher is crying, he must be sad.")
U - Understanding the causes and consequences of emotion ("if you are always mad, it will be very difficult to make friends.")
L - Labeling emotions accurately ("We are disappointed that Anna can't come to the party, but we cannot be mad at her, she is sick.")
E - Expressing emotions appropriately ("It is okay to say that we are mad and to cry, but it is not okay to hit your friend.")
R - Regulating emotions effectively ("I understand you are sad, what can we do to make you feel better? a hug, read a book, go for a walk.")
For more information about the self-regulation of emotions, check out the Zones of Regulation. This is a framework developed by occupational therapist, Leah Kuypers, which "provides strategies to teach students to become more aware of and independent in controlling their emotions and impulses, manage their sensory needs, and improve their ability to problem solve conflicts."
Children and adults alike can benefit from participating in activities to increase their emotional quotient. When you understand other's emotions and are able to self-regulate your own, you become more successful in every aspect of your life - work, family, social, etc.
The Our First Year activity cards contain some great ideas on how to increase your baby's social skills. This is the first step to developing your child's emotional quotient..it's all in the bag!